For Shelia

Mommy, don’t worry about me.
I know, that you know me leaving you was always God’s plan.
Sleeping silently, waiting to be born.
Let your heart not grow hard in the absence of me.
I need for you to bleed and heal.
I need you to feel.
Please still find my fingers in your hair,
Touching your heart to give you understanding that my passing is not in vain.
Continue to tell the stories of we.
Tell the tale of our history.
Make the stillness of my lungs be your reminder to
live everyday until breathing is no longer required.
Mommy, I have been transformed.
Waiting inside gates,
holding the hands of Abraham and David
being my assurance that my sins don’t weigh me down but lifted me here.
Now I am everything that my dreams decided was too expensive for me.
I am the calm before the storm,
I am the north star shinning bright to lead the lost home.
I am, broken bottles of pending AA members.
I am the rosary with out the cross that you clench you close to your chest.
Being the placed you hoped for.
I am still me only better.
I am still what you want me to be , only better.
I am your protector and in return you have become be everything.
Beautifully placed in my history as my Queen.
Continue to let me live in your memory.
Let your heartbeat now beat for 2.
Live life anew.
Let not your womb feel lonely without me.
Fill your now vacant cavity of those who still need a mommy.
I need you to live on without me physically because
Spiritually I could never leave you.
I still belong to your and though God had another plan.
Please know that I still love you.