She watches me, through blurred irises.
I feel her trying to protect her window by trying to break through mine.
She is seeping softly through my shallow soul.
I break glances so she will not get the best of me.
I am trying to collect what’s left of my emotions that are trying to conspire against me.
I must protect my mind from intruders but my enemy has used diversions to distract me from my mission at hand.
The fusion of Jazz to me is like the fusion of my ass to this self confined seat had made the funny bones stronger but my spirit weak.
Recalling ill faded memories of lovers that never worked out and
to death having the last laugh.
I can see the color in her eyes transforming into filters, streaming thought the bad and the good.
Seeking which memories are ready to be savored.
My body tries to fight the uncomfortable.
Deep voices encourage me to still seek what wants to stay hidden.
As I am carried from one moment to the next, I am reminded that she is still watching, praying too that her soul will not be stolen.
Though language was never spoken, I tried to comfort our worries through non-expressive stares.
I run conversation through my mind on things and times that I wish never happened like hearing him say “I love you more” or
“I am not raising any bastard grandchildren” .
I struggle to remain focused with the task at hand and
I know that she is trying too.
I know that like me she is waiting for her que.
Waiting to go back to being labeled as sweet.
Being too busy, trying to protect the corners of our existence.
I failed to see that her guards were at their respective post.
I wasn’t looking at her but rather the shadows of my yestertommorrows.
I missed seeing her warriors fighting on battleships, not giving up until their skin was saturated with the salt of the sea.
I could finally see a Queen breeding gypsies,
being raised by Christians, being taught to love everything.
I saw tears standing their ground being ducts that were confused about their function,
Lips quivering the unknown, body in fear not wanting to reach that place of truth.
Eyes looking into mine, creating battle scares with invisible swords. Seeping softly through shallow souls. We break glances we will not get the best of each other.