Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Sheila .. gone but def not forgotten

So I have not been on my blog in a while and I could say that it was school or touring but in honesty i have been lazy, but right now I want to talk about my friend Dr. Sheila Siobhan. I never knew how to say her last name , but I guess we have always been on first name basis. When I came on the scene, to most people I just appeared and just never left, but it took me a long time to come to neo-soul, even more so to say that I was a poet and this was my new family. For the first time in my life I felt like I belonged somewhere and poetry was something that I was really good at so I stayed with it. The first time I ever got on a mic was at Ruta Maya on June 30th, the day that Shannon died. I never met Shannon but from that moment on I felt a connection with her and her family. I even showed my support by going to her memorial. I guess in hine sight, who shows up for a memorial service to someone that she never met, but I was determined to go and that was when i met Sheila. The first thing I ever said to her is "I didn't know your daughter, but I can tell she lived with no regrets", Sheila told me "Did you know that 'No Regrets' was tattooed on her arm". I told her no and she invited me to her house for the re pass ( Louisiana term for dinner after the funeral). At the time I was living by myself in Austin and really didnt have family here. Sheila, along with some people in neo soul, took me and has never let me go. Through all my highs and lows Sheila has always been there. Now I will not say that we didnt have our disagreements but we loved each other beyond bullshit.. She was family, no other way to put it. When I think of Austin, I think of Shelia, there is no way around that. I miss my friend, it is hard to try to understand that she is not here. That I cant text her or message her on FB. I wish i talked to her more when i left Austin, but I was so upset. None of that matters now, I know that she loved me and that is what important. If I had to do it again, I would change nothing. i would not change a thing. She was so strong, I only know of one of woman that had the grace that she did after losing her child and that is my Auntie and the mother of my middle namesake Javonne. Sheila i love you and I will miss you something stupid. Thank you for letting me go to Chicago and all the work we did together for the youth. i am never going to forget your hugs and love. thank you Thank you thank you