To the man that will only let me love him from a glance.
In the mist of our daily small talks and general debates about everything and nothing,
he looks me square in the eyes and says
“Don’t fall for me,
Let your heart swoon for someone who has enough
beats in his own chest to reciprocate the feeling.
Why believe in something that is bone dry?
There is no more fight in this cupid’s arrow.
I have only crafted bullets in the form of I’m sorry’s and.
I like you too much to turn you into a victim of my
lack of experience in how to hold pretty things too long.”
And In the middle of watching his mouth formulate excuses
as to why we would be as hopeless as buffalo coins used in a 21st century economy.
I laughed because once again I have fallen for my own reflection.
I too am one of those singles that love to mingle with lonely covers at night,
Been that, who needs to know last names when we just fucking kind of girl,
We feel the most alive, when we kill the most precious parts of ourselves.
How many times have I committed to memory to those same lines?
“It’s not you, it’s me”
“I am really not a good person”
“There is another woman that would be better for you”
“Hating me would save you more time than loving me ever would”
“Don’t fall for me”
Looking back, I can’t remember if I really believed that
Or if I just didn’t want to be bothered.
Gravity prevents you from using your breaks when falling.
I’d would rather not jump if it means
I was not going to have bruised feelings.
I guess he was trying to save me.
Didn’t want my delicate frame of mind to be trampled by the
Monster he thought he become.
He acts as if I had control over my misguided steps.
Grasping for hands that were never meant to hold me in the long run,
but I can’t retract emotions,
botteling them up would be like trying to
contain the ocean in your hands.
His running shoes have been laced up for just this type occasion;
avoiding potential heart failure is easier than having the
same misguided steps that I just went through.
He sees love like fables that never have a real ending
He tells me “The ache in your chest is heartburn,
stop dealing with hot men.
Your tongue deserves more from you than for you to keep saying my name”
And he’s right, usually when people see Mount Everest
they turn the other way, but I have never been known as a quitter,
picking your battles is how you win the war so I told him
“I didn’t give my heart permission to stop for anyone.
When it erratically jumps for you or anyone else, it lets me know I at least can
still feel something for someone.
I would rather keep giving my wishes to the stars
then have them not fall at the thought of you.
You see a broken man but I see a man that is healing.
The worst that could have happen is we become
best friends and that seems the best situation cause
when you get on my nerves I can send your ass home.”
Then he laughed, then I laughed.
See that is how fast time turns.
My momma once told me “don’t let go of good things”
and baby you have been the best thing.
Stop holding on to the man you wanted to be
and fall for the man you are, cause he is worth your attention.
We are just patches of yesterday trying to make today one for the record books.
I do not need your permission to believe you are my hero.
One day you will stop thinking and start believing with me.