The BEST DAMN POEM EVER!!!!!
Both: This is what you have all been waiting for.
J: We have come to show you what poetry is made for.
S: This poem that is about to spew from our lips is hot like. Like
J: Like Supa Relaxas. Hot
S: Like When Friday came out in theaters. Hot
J: Like No A/C in July and it’s already 103 and its only 7:45. Hot
S: Like Final Slam night at Ruta Maya Hot…
Both: OHHHH Like When Michael Jackson was Black Hot.
J: This poem is what 10’s heat seekers target for.
S: This Poem is the SHIT!!!
J: This is the best damn poem ever..
Both: If only we could remember the words..
S: Oh I remember it was about slavery
J: Girl naw, it was about how people abandon their babies, or crack heads, or how the street made us beast… lyrically
S: Fuck that I don’t want to talk about that depressing shit..
J: Then what the HELL you wanna talk about then
S: Oooo lets talk about FOOD.
J: Yeah food…
S: Yeah that Mickey D’s, Wendy’s, BK, Have it your way, Number 1 and Upsize that Bitch…. Until I have to make it side way just to make it though the door…
J: Girl did you eat today?
S: No… but you know what they say if you can’t eat it
Both: Write about it
J Well I don’t want to talk about that… I wanna do a piece about my Future Husband…
S: Hell no
J: About him carrying me away, sharing the same last name, and two becoming one all in the same day…
S: Bitch … no, I am 17 I don’t wanna talk about that Shit..
J Well I am twenty something.. so how bout you shut the hell up…
S: oh I know lets talk about ex- boyfriends.
S: And how they cheated on me
S: And when I saw him last week, I carved his heart out with a stiletto, and fed it to my cat Fe Fe
J: Yeah…. What the hell..
S: I mean figuratively speaking.
J RIGHT… this bitch is crazy
S: Hey I heard that…
J Anyway… let’s talk about how balers get paid more than Teachers and to reach us takes acts from congress to impeach our primitive thinking that we are inferior to Everybody.
S: Or how gas prices are so high
J: and they are doing everything they can to lower them.
S: but I am still at gas pumps, trying to decide between driving my little sister to school or giving her lunch money. Knowing the petroleum will not foster the fuel that she needs to succeed in this life,
Both: but I can’t fight the butterflies that flutter freely in my belly when I see that my tank is on E.
S: and I ain’t getting no pay raises any time soon, because the American dollar is weaker than the Paso.
J: And on top of the car not moving… I still got water bills, light bills, school bills, and bills bills that keep bothering me.. Knocking on my door constantly. talking about..
S: Hello Ms. Charles … we were just wondering …When are you going to pay..
J: And I don’t know what to say, to keep them at bay, I tried to substitute my money with comedy cause my money was always really funny and i would start my set by saying…
S: Why did the chicken cross the road?
J: and they would say…
S: to pay their bills on time…
J: I guess they never understood my jokes….
S: And the folks at my school keep laughing at me… telling me that poetry aint gonna get me nowhere. Laughing at me when they see me spiting poetry on stages that they call cafeteria tables…
J: know what you should tell them..
J: WE SPIT HOT FIRE!!!!
S: And we have five reasons why:
J: ONE idea can move a nation
S: TWO people change lives on stages
J: THREE mins and 10 sec is all I need to relieve my stress.
S: FOUR wanna be poets with score boards that give..
Both: FIVE judgmental marks we will do you a favor and start back at… ONE
J: I remember what the piece about…
S: oh great what…
S: Movies? What crazy Lady…
J: About how Dirty old men… Think they love their wives…. only they don’t know why they got married…so they decide to move to schoolyards to find their new House Bunny.. only to find out older sister Phoenix gotta GUN…
S: Phoenix’s Gotta GUN!!!!
J: no bitch it’s just the line…
S: OH.. Right I knew that..
J: Oh I remember this was our cocky piece.. so I know that you had to start it cause you are the cocky one anyway
S: I don’t know what you are talking about…
J: Yeah weren’t you the one talking about how you are a phenomenon.
J: How fire flows freely every time you part your lips.
J: and how it translates through your very finger tips
S: ok.. Shit but who can blame me… I mean look at me I am fucking fabulous.
J: (Snif)… you smell something…
S: naw girl what….
J: (Snif) I smell bullshit…..
S: Ha Ha you used my own line against me… funny sleep with one eye open
J: What’s that’s suppose to mean… anyway… we have promised the people something hot and we have not even started the piece yet..
S: They’ll be alright
J: Girl you know its not right to keep people waiting…
S: Well do you remember the damn piece
J: That is not the point… we should leave them with something…
S: A message to take back to the Kids.....
Both: Fuck It eat vegetables…